The meeting.

 It was August 22nd 2018.

On my other online diary (the one I don't post to anymore, but avidly posted in the beginning stages of Matthew and I) I just discovered that the day I met Matthew that I was in fact in a terrible mood. It was mainly to do with not feeling very good in myself and I was still mulling over whether upon going to the UK in my upcoming trip if I should at least visit that guy I used to sorta see for a coffee. My consensus was that I probably shouldn't. I finished the entry saying how I had to hurry to get ready as I had to go to a young adults events that night and had to eat my cauliflower cheese beforehand.

Isn't it comical how I was so cavalier about the evening ahead of me not, not realizing that I was about to meet the absolute love of my love? One hour that day writing about nonsense and then another hour of that day meeting the one. I guess you never really know how quickly your life can change in just one evening.

I was about to leave for the event when my brother in-law (who was living with us at the time) asked if I was going to the young adults event that night. I casually said yes to which he informed me that there was an English guy going to be there tonight. My sister chimes in saying "yeah he's actually really good looking". I don't remember this detail but upon looking back on past journal entries I saw that Jonathan also alluded to the fact that this guy already knows of a me a bit and that some guys have been hyping me up to him. Of course I pivot back up the stairs to make a proper effort with myself. Generally with church events I had conceded that I was not going to meet my future husband there. This was a slight token of hope though. I touched up my makeup thinking of conversations I could make with this guy, thinking that the obvious point of conversation could be that I was moving to the UK next year and was wanting to know where is good to live. I don't want this to sound like a youthful fiction book when I describe my outfit, but I also like the detail as describes a very classic Holly look. I wore a brandy melville wrap dress, black heeled boots, and a leather jacket with my hair tossed down. I felt confident and like I was putting my best foot forward, but I also was mentally calming myself down as most of the time nothing comes out of these sort of situations. 

I get to the event and chat with some friends. My sister makes a b-line for me and says to stick with her and Jonathan as that guy is out on the deck and we can go up to him. We start approaching him and he's chatting with a guy already. My first impression is that he's dressed rather casual, just in a black hoodie, jeans, sneaker combo. But he's also tall and kind of cute. We all start chatting but then Chloe leaves to go do something. Then the random guy leaves also. Then Jonathan takes his queue and says he has to go check something out and leaves. So it's just Matthew and I, but at the time I just referred to him as Matt. I don't exactly remember what we talked about but I just know it was quite polite conversation. We didn't get on like a house on fire but Matthew is a reserved soul so looking back it wouldn't have been in his character to be all charismatic and talkative. I think we chatted a bit about his time in Australia and how I was moving to the UK to do nursing there. Our conversation only lasted 10 minutes until we got called into the event sessions. There were 2 sessions - Adulting 101 and Relationships 101. I think out loud to Matthew saying "hm, I don't know which one to attend" to which he says "well, whatever one you feel you need most". Of course I didn't want to look like a complete desperado jumping at Relationships 101 so into Adulting 101 I go. 

As we walked into the session I ran into an old friend so had to be polite and have a quick chat. I saw at the corner of my eye Matthew still walking and finding a seat next to my sister. In the face of choosing where to sit I decided to pretend to ignore my friend calling my name and sat next down to Mr. cute English guy. After the first session we walked to the next one together and I remember him giving me a tidbit of information about himself saying how he got a lot out of the idea of remaining consistent in your faith with all your friends, as he finds someones with people at the football it can be tricky to show your faith and not act different. I liked the little bit of honesty from him and so we went and sat together in the next session.

Talk about awkward though, first time meeting a guy who you fancy and you are sat next to one another in a relationships 101 session. I endured the session and tried to not nod or make any noises so I wouldn't accidentally give off the impression of keen interest in what was being said. At the end Mr. Quiet English man walked off, probably to the loo, without a word and I kept chatting with some friends. Out in the cafe I don't spot him so I have a grand idea - to chat to a guy I am aware he's staying with so it's an easy opportunity for him to approach. I chat with him for a few minutes and then spot Matthew at the corner of my eye chatting with other people. He doesn't approach though to chat, only at the end to say "Chris i'll see you at home" then turning to me to say it was nice meeting me. He walks off without even getting my number or trying to line up a coffee date and i'm a little sad as I had hoped he was feeling the same. I drive home and think to myself that maybe he's already seeing someone back home, maybe he was being polite and wasn't that keen on me, or maybe he's going to drop me a follow on the social media that evening.

I get home and try stalking his social media to which i'm unsuccessful. No facebook and a private instagram. I decide to go to bed and hopefully in the morning he's chucked a follow. I didn't want to face the possibly that perhaps he just wasn't into me but it could be likely.

I remembered that evening that I had seen him before at church years ago. My first memory of him was walking with Amy De Wet and her saying "hey Matt" to this blank faced guy sitting down with some older crew. He just raised his hand in a wave but his expression did not bare any glimmer of a smile. Amy told how he was from England. My first mental impression ever was "oh, he doesn't seem like someone worth bothering with" judging by his stone faced expression. Isn't it how funny how things change. 

Matthews perspective:

(I want to add in Matthews perspective to these entries just to hear both sides).

Matthew first heard about me when Jonathan said that he should introduce him to his sister in law. He was excited about this and thought it was nice and could be fun. I just asked Matthew why he was excited and he said simply "i'm going to meet a girl, what's not exciting about that".

He knew I was going to be at the young adults event which is why he went. He didn't really care about what he was wearing, as in he didn't put much thought to it. (Such an opposite to a girl). His first impression when he saw me: outstanding. As the conversation went on and Chloe, Jonathan and other guy left he thought that I was super friendly. He tried to ask me some questions. He found it a little awkward sitting next to me in a relationships 101 session cause obviously we were just in the process of meeting someone we fancy. 

His tactic was not to approach me the rest of the night as he didn't want to be super keen and was scared of me as I was "super hot". He can't remember why he didn't follow me right away after that night, he thinks perhaps because he didn't want to seem too keen.